where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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