just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
