I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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