you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize