Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
they call him Oral-B. enough said
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
