problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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