The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
