Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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