I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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