Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
