margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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