just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
