In the future we'll all be gay
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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