Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.