a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
