A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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