I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
