No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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