just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i have two assholes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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