I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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