Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
