spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
