new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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