I think I am morally bankrupt
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
