Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
