My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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