i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
