Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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