In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
