Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
