Do you still have your period?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
