She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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