he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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