I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
