come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
