I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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