I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
too bad you live with your parents still
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
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All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster