dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drake has all the answers
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
