This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Green mimosas i think yes
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.