Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.