am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring