Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
