We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
