god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
