No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
