So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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