oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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