doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
