drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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