No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
