I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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