you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
God, I missed his penis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
