No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
