Dude my mom stole all your condoms
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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