So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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