just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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