No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
