never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
