I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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