grandma shit on top of the toilet
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize