k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
