i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
