whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
