i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
