Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
