can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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