do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
