I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
