if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
