So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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